Broken People in Need of Accepting the Broken

We are a broken people.

Lots of people don't want to admit to that.

Even those who follow Jesus and have deep faith. They want to prove themselves educated or well-off, or sufficient, their own saviors, their own independent clauses.

When I was little, my line was: "Alice can do it." This meant, step aside, Mommy and Daddy, I can set the table, I can put my own shoes on, and later it evolved to, I can be sufficient. I don't need anyone.

Some of us try to cover ourselves up with accessories and the newest fashion, and fill our minds with an expensive education. There's nothing wrong with looking good or being smart. (I tried it once; it was wonderful!)

But when our pride of what we can do starts to deceive us into thinking we are superior to others or better off or more loved, then we aren't living a life of humility or service. We aren't transparent. We're soaked up with ourselves. We can do it. Alone. Look at us. Like a kid swinging from the top bar of the jungle gym, "See me. I am strong. I don't need you."

Then we fall.

Where is God?

Why do I hurt so much?

What is wrong with me?

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone. My hope comes from Him." Psalm 62:5.

God alone gives us hope. Nothing else.

In all our pain and struggles, He alone restores us to Him, comforts us, knows us.

We were born broken and we will die broken. There is no complete restoration of us---not the kind that transforms us into independent creatures without a need for The One who gives us the only Hope worth pursuing. We cannot save ourselves. We can't fix ourselves.

But we can accept our limitations. And quit trying to pretend that we are self-sufficient. We need Him. Sometimes I still fight how much I do.

Because inside of me is this little voice that wants to do it on her own.

Find rest, O my soul.

When you reach out to rely on Him, when you hand Him the broken pieces of your life, that's when real living happens.

Stop Looking Over the Fence; Look Up!

“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” Proverbs 13:40 (NIV)

In a kindergarten class a little boy was eager to tattletale on his classmates for their behavior. His wise teacher confronted him with the words: “Jimmy, just worry about yourself and you’ll be busy all day.”

Right about the time that we think we’ve put jealousy and envy behind us, we realize, even as adults, that we have not lost the capacity to be petty. Our childish ways are still operating as though on the kindergarten playground.

The Bible is in tune with our human frailty. Countless passages encourage us to put on the mind of Christ and to renew our methods of thinking. Look up! Our hope comes from looking in the direction of Heaven where our help comes from. By lowering our eyes to view the pits in the ground, we forget that God cares for us and provides for our needs. When we seek God, the focus turns from our weakness to His provision, to His mercy. He is eager to equip us so that we can do wonderful things to bless others. It is in the reaching out to others—not in the envying of them—that we are at peace.

PRAYER: May I be a cheerful giver, a compassionate listener, a faithful friend. Let me be the one who shows others that I know of your great love for them and for me. Teach me your ways, O Lord. Amen.


Alice J. Wisler is the author of five novels and one devotional on grief and loss, Getting Out of Bed in the Morning: Reflections of Comfort in Heartache. Read all the reviews here.

Swallowed in Grief: What Can You Do To Help Someone?

Life isn't for wimps. Life is one tough ride.

Many ask how they can help those suffering a devastating loss. Of course, I offer them a copy of my new devotional, Getting Out of Bed in the Morning.

When others find it helpful, I am grateful that the message of the book has been embraced. The following is a viewpoint from one reader:

I decided to read this book not because I'm in grief or heartache but because as a pastor's wife I wanted some "inside" information on how to help people going through grief.

I know that sometimes it's hard for us, who have not known devastating grief, how to comfort or help those going through a rough patch in life.

Now, Alice Wisler has known grief and heartache. She writes encouraging words with scripture to help those in their time of need.

These book is more like a "grief" devotional with a Prayer, a Reflections to Ponder . . . a very encouraging read!

I especially liked the "devotional" on page 111, No Perfect Life. Sometimes we see people who seem to have it all . . . "Their marriages are intact; their children are healthy. They've got good teeth, bosses who value them, gardens filled with flowers, loving friends and savings in the bank. Life seems peaceful and easy for them." (p. 111)

We, incorrectly, assume that these types of people have it.all.together! But when we look closer and get to know these people we see that they are going through some very human rough patches in life. Be careful not to look on the outside. Consider that grief hits every human. If you're struggling with getting out of bed every day then you should begin reading this book before you even consider moving your head off the pillow.

This is a wonderful, encouraging read for everyone. And it would make a great gift for that person who is struggling with grief, sickness or loss of a loved one.

~ Review posted at Deeper Shopping.

Getting Out of Bed in the Morning: Reflections of Comfort in Heartache by Alice J. Wisler

Go to Deeper Shopping to get a copy of Getting Out of Bed in the Morning today!

Much of life is adapting

Combat the negative thoughts by telling yourself affirmations
each hour. Hopefully you will start to believe them.
Sometimes in our frustration with our situations, we
need to find ways to channel our negative energy. Walking
at least three miles a day helps me. Jog, play tennis, play the
saxophone, mow the grass. Get out there and get moving.
Befriend the poor, the hungry, the widow, the fatherless,
the prisoners, the alien. Find someone else who is suffering
and affirm them in the love of our Lord.

Reflections to Ponder
Keep a journal. Studies show writing reduces stress and
if you write at least five times a week for twenty minutes
you will notice the affects.

Also, try to envision your current situation as you
would like to see it. Picture your kids getting along with
your new spouse. Imagine peaceful conversations and the
acceptance of each other. Pray for this to take place and
keep praying that one day it will.

Prayer
“What matters is not what we feel like praying
about, but what God wants us to ask him for. Not
the poverty of our own heart, but the riches of the
Word of God must decide how we are to pray”
(Bonhoeffer, Life Together, 157)


When You Walk
As you walk, think of those in the Bible who went through
transitions in their journey and learned to adapt. Moses
is a great example of someone who was brought up by
God for a specific mission—to deliver His people out of
captivity in Egypt. Yet, even though God spoke to him
in a burning bush, Moses pleaded with his Lord to send
someone else to accomplish this task. Moses didn’t accept
or adjust to God’s plan for him overnight. It took time for
him to grow into the role and be transformed.
Do you believe that God can transform you in
your situation?

~ This is an excerpt from the devotional,
Getting Out of Bed in the Morning: Reflections of Comfort in Heartache
by Alice J. Wisler

Happiness? An entitlement?

“When you are happy, so happy you have no sense of needing
Him, so happy that you are tempted to feel His claims
upon you as an interruption, if you remember yourself and
turn to Him with gratitude and praise, you will be—or so
it feels—welcomed with open arms. But go to Him when
your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and
what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a
sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After
that, silence” (18).




We might conclude that we aren’t the ones with the
problem. We might neglect to remember that we do live in
a sin-filled world where, often, things are not as we believe
they should be. We believe we are entitled to the happiness
others feel and since our present turmoil keeps us from
happiness, something is therefore wrong with God.
Even Jesus asked His Father why He had been forsaken.
I think we can assume that Jesus felt abandoned.
Yet we know the outcome of the Crucifixion story. God
was working in the midst of the agony and pain Jesus suffered.
Can we trust that God works even when He seems
silent? Can we believe that He sees each tear, perhaps even
numbers them as He has the hair on our heads?

Reflections to Ponder
The fear of being left out in the cold grips us. Spend some
time focusing on the promises we are given.

Excerpt from Getting Out of Bed in the Morning

Moving from self-blame to God's grace

It was a myth to believe that we would be protected from life’s sadness. We live in a broken world and just as others go through seasons of anguish, so shall we. There are signs of suffering all around us if we open our eyes to them. I used to think bad things only happened to other people. Then one day my son died. Up until his cancer diagnosis he’d been a healthy boy. What caused the tumor? Doctors had no clue. As a mother, I wondered if I’d done something wrong during pregnancy. Was it because I got food poisoning during my sixth month? It must be my fault, something I could have controlled.Sorrow happens. How will we handle it? Will we ask God to come alongside and walk with us through it? Or will we continue to blame ourselves until we can barely hold our head up?

The sheer vastness and devastation of sorrow is summed up in this quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Sorrow makes us all children again—destroys all differences of intellect. The wisest know nothing.”

Allow yourself to ask the tough questions. Many of these hold no understandable earthly answer. Can you live with not knowing why?

Prayer

God, I pray for a respite from my tears and questions today. Meet me in my struggles.


~ Excerpt from Getting Out of Bed in the Morning
To order your copy of Getting Out of Bed in the Morning: Reflections of Comfort in Heartache, click here.

A Challenge for Easter

In my new devotional, Getting Out of Bed in the Morning, I offer a challenge. I ask my readers to get to know God better than they know their own troubles.

The tendency might at first be to think, Oh, yeah, I already know God well.

But how well do you know about the following:
* Your bills
* Your finances
* Your coworkers who drive you crazy
* Your neighbor who runs over your lawn with her car
* Your spouse's irritating habits
* The new house your friend just had built
* The sound of your children complaining
* The sound of your own voice complaining

Do these things---some of which might lead you to worry or become depressed----consume your thoughts? Do you get wrapped up in them?

Do you know how God loves you? Do you understand how much you mean and matter to him? Can His love and attributes come to mind and renew your mind over all your despair and confusion? Can you let that happen?

In Getting Out of Bed in the Morning, I also ask readers to "Push aside all the jargon you might have grown up with—“christianese”—certain phrases you’ve repeated that you aren’t even sure how to explain to a nonbeliever. Read the Bible, perhaps pondering on one passage over and over so that you can fully grasp its meaning for you. Discover ways to express both God and faith in your own words."

For example, can you tell the Resurrection Story in your own words? Can you explain the meaning of Jesus' death on a cross and coming out from the tomb in a fresh way?

Start with one word. Crucified. What are others words you can use in its place? Think: What does it mean to be crucified?

Continue on with other words and phrases we use excessively at Easter-----salvation, died on a cross, rose again, died for my sins, was buried in a tomb.

This Easter spend some time finding new and fresh ways to express how excited you are to know this Jesus Christ who loves you. Read your favorite Easter passage from a new translation like The Message.

Consider how you might tell the story of Jesus' death to someone who has never heard it, or to someone who is not a native speaker of your language, or to a child.

"Discover both God and faith in your own words!"

I challenge you!

To order a copy of Getting Out of Bed in the Morning, click here.

[This post can also be found at Alice's Patchwork Blog.]

Practicing Contentment

Today I'm posting all of chapter thirty-seven from my devotional, Getting Out of Bed in the Morning.

I am not saying this because I am in need,
for I have learned to be content
whatever the circumstances.
—Philippians 4:11

If it were easy, there wouldn’t be so much written
about how to do it. Paul doesn’t talk about the
pursuit of happiness. He’s focused on a higher accomplishment.
Being content is the ability to be satisfied with
what one has, whether it is a little or a lot. Once we have
reached the ability to be content, we have reached a high
goal. There is a peace that comes with being satisfied. It
causes one to refrain from looking over his or her shoulder
at others, desiring what they have. By no means does the
ability to be content mean that a life is trouble-free; rather,
in spite of those pesky circumstances, the heart can say,
“I am at rest.”

How do we go about obtaining this goal? I think it
comes from knowing and loving Jesus more. Those who
have gone through turmoil often have a high level of contentment.
They’ve experienced the worst fires and storms.
They’ve seen God’s provision, His grace, His mercy. These
blessings are rooted in their core. They aren’t rattled
because they look back and see what God has done in their
history. They trust He will again act. They sing, “It is well
with my soul.”

They also look for ways to be sustained along the way.
Their answers may not come immediately; but as they
wait, they know that God will give them His comfort, His
love, His presence.

Reflections to Ponder
Read Psalm 145. Take some time to write your own
response to it.

Prayer
You are faithful to Your promises; You are loving
toward all You have made. You uphold all those
who fall, and lift up all who are bowed down. I
thank you, Lord, for Your faithfulness to me.

When You Walk
Commit this to memory as you walk:
The Lord sustains the humble. . . . (Ps. 147:6)
`

Far more than birds

Worry.

Fear.

Doubt.

Our human frailty creeps in when we are most vulnerable.

We feel inadequate and unprepared for tomorrow.

Finances are low. Bills pile up. People have betrayed us. Decisions need to be made and we don't know how to handle the situation.


What will I do?

How am I suppposed to live?


Jesus asked why we worry. He asked us to look at the wild flowers and their beauty.

He asked us to look at the birds of the air and note how they don't worry.

"Are you not much more valuable than they?" (Matthew 6, NIV)

"And you count far more to him than birds." (Matthew 6, The Message)

Can you make your life a dance unto God, showing others how much you trust him?

Bask in who he is instead of worrying about what you aren't.

He is more than enough for today.

Don't let worry wedge its way between you and God's capable hands.

Look up! You are not a plastic bag blown by the wind! You are valued! (Getting Out of Bed in the Morning)

You are in good hands.

"Oh, how he loves you and me."

Access Denied!

Stop the negative thoughts from taking root. Hang a sign for your brain to see: Access Denied!

We remember that our God is not one who changes with our thoughts or our feelings. As fickle humans, we slide between feelings of happiness, joy, trust, sadness, and dismay. One day, usually a sunny spring day when the purple lilacs are in bloom, I might feel optimistic, carefree, and my trust in God soars. The next day, I might wake with a headache, back pain, and a heavy heart because of a friend’s recent diagnosis. In all honesty, I find myself admitting, “I don’t feel God.” But the good news is God is not a mere feeling. He isn’t any stronger because we feel Him or any weaker when we don’t.

So, in spite of our sorrow, we hope. I often think that we are creatures of hope, somehow believing as Orphan Annie did when she sang, “Tomorrow! The sun will come out, tomorrow!” We hope that each new day will be better than yesterday, that it might be the day for things to change for the better. And when we run out of that feeling of hope, we rest in the knowledge that God is forever God—His promises do not change, His faithfulness reaches beyond the stars. His truth sets us free.

Finally, brothers
and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble,
whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever
is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything
is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such
things. Whatever you have learned or received
or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into
practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
(Phil. 4:4–9)

Excerpt from Getting Out of Bed in the Morning: Reflections of Comfort in Heartache by Alice J. Wisler

Nourish Your Soul

Excerpt from the devotional, Getting Out of Bed in the Morning

Hope!

In life there is much sorrow, but there is also much hope.

The Bible speaks of faith, hope and love. (I. Cor. 13:13)

"What does the word hope mean to you? . . . Pray for those who have no hope." ~ Getting Out of Bed in the Morning

Let hope surround you today.

Breathe it in.

Share it.

Live hope.

Give us this day our daily bread

Order your copy of Getting Out of Bed in the Morning today.

Even the geese know . . .

Just a minute and a half of your time

I had fun creating this video for my devotional, Getting Out of Bed in the Morning. I hope it conveys some of what my new book is about and what my desires are for it to achieve.

Please take a minute and a half to view the Broken Psalms video. No sound, just words and some photos.

Order a copy of Getting Out of Bed in the Morning today.

Does God sustain us in our losses?

Getting Out of Bed in the Morning is available now on Kindle.

How do you trust? What is rejoicing?

"Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
for he has been good to me." (Ps. 13)

When You Walk
Think about ways you can rejoice in your salvation.

~ Excerpt from Getting Out of Bed in the Morning
Now on Kindle!

What is a Giving it Over to God calendar?

Keep a “Giving It over to God” calendar where you can see it each day. On this calendar (make sure it has large squares), place a mark or some emblem to signify a problem that you are handing over to God. You could write the letter “J” for jealousy on the square for today, meaning you are giving over to God your difficulty with the problem of being envious of your neighbor or friend. Or perhaps you will write the letter “F” because you need to give over your refusal to forgive, and now is the day to do that. As you place these markings on your calendar, ask God to take your difficulty or your sin and teach you how to grow out of it, away from it, and toward His likeness. Like a baby, we have to be weaned from our dependency or patterns into healthier mature attitudes.


Growing up means change. Where we once doubted, we now see. Experience has opened our eyes. We have experienced God’s grace, forgiveness, love, and power; and so when a new situation arises, we have this history with God to bank on. He was with us when our spouse left. He provided for us when we were let go from our place of employment. He sent comfort when we received the devastating diagnosis. He has been with us all along. He will continue to be with us so that we can live, even thrive. Although we have not seen Jesus in the flesh as the disciples did, we have been privileged to walk in His spirit each day.

~ excerpt from Getting Out of Bed in the Morning: Reflections of Comfort in Heartache
Order your copy today from Amazon.

Tips for Making Life Work

Below are some tips I shared recently at my Broken Psalms presention. These can all be found in Getting Out of Bed in the Morning.

Seclude yourself in a room where no one can hear you. Set a timer for three minutes and let yourself think about your anger. Scream, rant, and rave. When the timer dings, stand up, take a breath, and then partake in another action. Each day, anger may build up. Allow yourself time to deal with it and release it.

Pretend Jesus is your walking partner today. Envision Him as a person dressed in exercise gear. His strides match yours. What does He say to you? What do you say to Him?

Keep a journal. Studies show writing reduces stress and if you write at least five times a week for twenty minutes you will notice the affects. Also, try to envision your current situation as you would like to see it. Picture your kids getting along with your new spouse. Imagine peaceful conversations and the acceptance of each other. Pray for this to take place and keep praying that one day it will.

List your blessings—the things you are grateful for, the people who are in your life, the experiences you have enjoyed, the hobbies that bring you comfort. Keep a running list. Keep it by your beside and add to it each day.

How Do We Stay Uplifted in a Chaotic World?

Be merciful to me, O Lord, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and body with grief.
—Psalm 31:9


Being kind and gentle in our grief is important so that we can be a friend to ourselves. We may feel so exhausted from the couldas, shouldas, and wouldas that we reprimand and berating ourselves for the mistakes we’ve made and the guilt we feel. Even in our agony, we must be kind enough to push ourselves out of bed and get moving so that we can focus on our healing. A friend who fractured her leg told me that she firmly believes a healthy attitude helps us heal. As she goes to rehab sessions, she focuses on the positive.

On your bad days, tell yourself that no matter what unhappy circumstance you are in, you will not give in to playing the role of the victim. With God on your side, you are not a hopeless wreck. Even if you hear the old adage, “God helps those who help themselves” and feel that trusting in God is not “doing enough” to remedy your situation, refrain from self-loathing and harsh judgment. And by the way, although people toss the “God helps those” reference around like a familiar Bible verse, there is no verse in the Bible that matches it. ~ from Getting Out of Bed in the Morning.

How do you keep a positive attitude in light of God's grace and mercy? What helps you?

[Read the reviews for Getting Out of Bed in the Mornning]