Stop Looking Over the Fence; Look Up!

“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” Proverbs 13:40 (NIV)

In a kindergarten class a little boy was eager to tattletale on his classmates for their behavior. His wise teacher confronted him with the words: “Jimmy, just worry about yourself and you’ll be busy all day.”

Right about the time that we think we’ve put jealousy and envy behind us, we realize, even as adults, that we have not lost the capacity to be petty. Our childish ways are still operating as though on the kindergarten playground.

The Bible is in tune with our human frailty. Countless passages encourage us to put on the mind of Christ and to renew our methods of thinking. Look up! Our hope comes from looking in the direction of Heaven where our help comes from. By lowering our eyes to view the pits in the ground, we forget that God cares for us and provides for our needs. When we seek God, the focus turns from our weakness to His provision, to His mercy. He is eager to equip us so that we can do wonderful things to bless others. It is in the reaching out to others—not in the envying of them—that we are at peace.

PRAYER: May I be a cheerful giver, a compassionate listener, a faithful friend. Let me be the one who shows others that I know of your great love for them and for me. Teach me your ways, O Lord. Amen.


Alice J. Wisler is the author of five novels and one devotional on grief and loss, Getting Out of Bed in the Morning: Reflections of Comfort in Heartache. Read all the reviews here.

What is a Giving it Over to God calendar?

Keep a “Giving It over to God” calendar where you can see it each day. On this calendar (make sure it has large squares), place a mark or some emblem to signify a problem that you are handing over to God. You could write the letter “J” for jealousy on the square for today, meaning you are giving over to God your difficulty with the problem of being envious of your neighbor or friend. Or perhaps you will write the letter “F” because you need to give over your refusal to forgive, and now is the day to do that. As you place these markings on your calendar, ask God to take your difficulty or your sin and teach you how to grow out of it, away from it, and toward His likeness. Like a baby, we have to be weaned from our dependency or patterns into healthier mature attitudes.


Growing up means change. Where we once doubted, we now see. Experience has opened our eyes. We have experienced God’s grace, forgiveness, love, and power; and so when a new situation arises, we have this history with God to bank on. He was with us when our spouse left. He provided for us when we were let go from our place of employment. He sent comfort when we received the devastating diagnosis. He has been with us all along. He will continue to be with us so that we can live, even thrive. Although we have not seen Jesus in the flesh as the disciples did, we have been privileged to walk in His spirit each day.

~ excerpt from Getting Out of Bed in the Morning: Reflections of Comfort in Heartache
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God of Mystery

Twenty-six

God of Mystery

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. ~Isaiah 55:8

I grew up on Nancy Drew and Agatha Christie mysteries. Mysteries entice us to try to figure out who committed the crime before the detective knows. While that’s fun, seldom do we want our lives to be mysteries. We want answers. Now.

When my son died, I wanted to know why. I will always wonder why he didn’t get to live. I doubted the effectiveness of prayer for a long time after his last breath, because not only had he prayed for his healing, but so had I, his father, his grandparents, and countless people around the globe. There are other things I also don’t understand about why things in life happen the way they do.

God doesn’t have to tell us why he allows what He does. He’s God. He never promised that he would explain all things to us. He wants us to trust that He holds the answers, just as He holds our lives. I wish that God would fill me in; but then, when I stand under the multitude of stars, I realize just how small I am. Of course, He doesn’t have to share his ideas with me. Who am I? Even so, I often bellow out at Him, expecting Him to tell me what he’s doing. Then, I’ll conclude, that even on a good day, my tiny mind probably couldn’t handle His thoughts anyway.

You might be like I was. When Daniel died, I had to go over all the details leading up to his passing. Metaphorically, I was like a stomper of grapes; over and over my feet crushed them out of their skins into liquid. I left no grape unsmashed. I wondered why things ended the way they did with Daniel’s life and wrestled with many issues. Did I get the answers as to why Daniel died? I banged on Heaven’s door, so to speak, begging for God to show me why my four-year-old had to die. Did I get the answers as to why Daniel died? Eventually, I placed my questions in a box, sealed it, and stored the box in the attic of my mind. It was unnecessary for me to continue asking. Yet, since I am a wrestler by nature, I needed to ask in order for me to heal. Now there is no need to open the box and take out the mysteries and look them over. Time has passed and I have moved beyond those struggles.

I ask God to wipe my frustration away and to let me know I can keep going in spite of having no answers. I can keep looking up even though I know that He does not always heal. He does not always spare the lives of loved ones. On some days that scares me. Why wouldn’t a perfect God want an infant with a heart condition to be healed and live?

If we view ourselves as children—loved and cared for—does that make it easier to trust Him as the One who desires our trust, who longs for us to come to Him and exercise our little faith even in the midst of despair?

What a relief it is to stop trying to figure God out and to, instead, deepen our trust in Him so much so that we can truly believe with a childlike faith.

Reflections to Ponder
Some are not interested in walking with God. From youth on, they have an idea of God that is, at best, filled with partial truths. Their concept of God might be that of a stoic controller who rains on everyone’s parades or a jolly Santa-type, dishing out gifts. Many haven’t bothered to get to know the true and living God, the father of Jesus Christ, a man who was ridiculed, a friend to the lonely, a healer of broken hearts.

Have some of the things you’ve been told about life as a Christ-follower been found to be mistruths?

The God of the Bible is a God of mystery. Can you accept not knowing the whys and hows of your life? Can you trust a God you might not always understand? Do you have a “mystery file,” a page in your journal where you store those things that have happened that you have no answer for?

Prayer
Lord, I wrestle. I don’t understand. Help me as I grapple with the things I don’t comprehend. May I lean on You so much that my trust and love for You grows.

When You Walk
As you walk, lift up your face to the sun. Note the sway of the tree limbs. Feel your heart beating. Take a deep breath. Be aware of the many ways God has orchestrated nature and all living things, including you. Could you create a tree, a flower, an insect? No, that is not your place. Let the God of mysterious creations fill your veins with the assurance that He is God.


~ From Getting Out of Bed in the Morning: Reflections of Comfort in Heartache by Alice J. Wisler
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The Arrival of Getting Out of Bed (GOOB)

"You are a work of art in progress."

Yesterday, I was the happy recipient of a box of books titled Getting Out of Bed in the Morning. My two daughters (my son was at work) and husband were able to share in some of my excitement over the contents with me. My daughters breathed in the aroma of the pages, something I've taught them to do. There is nothing like the special scent of a newly-published book. Especially when your name is on the cover as the author.

Holding a copy of my devotional was a dream come true. I savored the feel of both the book and my heart. This book is compiled of forty devotions and a large piece of my broken heart.

In 1997 my son Daniel died after eight months of cancer treatments. He was four. I was thirty-six. I was angry with God for not healing him. The cancer hadn't killed him; it was the severe treatments that compromised his body. A staph infection took over and eventually his heart stopped. He died in my arms.

I was pregnant at the time. While my baby kicked inside the womb, my son gritted his teeth and left this earth. Three months to the day of his death, my fourth child, Elizabeth was born.

Getting out of bed each morning after Daniel's death was surreal. How could my son be gone? How could I still be alive? What was wrong with God? Why hadn't he saved my little boy from death? How would I live now? What was the point of going on?

I wrestled with questions, primarily to God. Why? How come? How could you? Why?

I wanted to die.

I didn't get to.

Instead, I put one foot in front of the other. And at the end of each day, I went to bed and woke to try again the next morning. One foot in front of the other. One day at a time. Deep breaths.

I would never ask God for anything again.

I knew too well that He could say, No.

Journaling was a lifeline. So was the support of the Wake County, North Carolina Compassionate Friends group. Some books helped. I wrote articles that made it into print magazines. I founded Daniel's House Publications and through it, compiled two cookbooks of recipes and memories in memory of children, who like my Daniel, had died way too soon. Slices of Sunlight came out in 1999 and two years later, Down the Cereal Aisle followed. I had an online newsletter.

I cried and missed my son. Birthdays came and I sent balloons up to him in Heaven. Christmases made me hollow and I was glad when the season ended.

I spoke at conferences. I taught on the benefits of writing through grief. I met some wonderful people---real people----the kind that know they are broken and that life is not for wimps.

I wanted to write a book on how God fit into my struggle. Believe me, I tried. I had agents and editors interested, but nothing stuck.

Until . . .

Last year, Leafwood Publishers said, Yes! This publisher took my fragile mother's heart and said, We believe in you. We read your words. You do have something to say.

I wrote Getting Out of Bed in the Morning to offer a morsel of hope to those without. I want to share with others that although they are weak and struggle, they aren't alone. God is the provider of the daily bread, the wisdom, the cup of cold water, the balm of healing, the hope of tomorrow. He has this awesome thing called sustaining grace. He supplies it. And He loves us, no matter how battered we might feel.

God is for the broken hearted.

God is for you.


To order an autographed copy of Getting Out of Bed in the Morning , head over to my Broken Psalms blog (join it, if you'd like) and visit the Rivers of Life Gift Shop.

[This post also appears on my Broken Psalms blog and my Writing the Heartache blog.]